wow-it's been a long day. i really shouldn't do this. my hypothalamous is screaming no, but my heart really needs to debrief.
in the scramble (and yes...i feel like i have been in a 48hr scramble to get everything done), i have been h u g e l y reminded of the reason i am still in school, paying 27 grand a year to be at taylor. yes, academics are important. yes, residence life is important. yes-missions is important. yes-friendships are important. and yes-even rest and fun are important. but as solomon wrote in ecclesiastes, it is all meaningless. It is all meaningless without the Father. the most important aspect of my life! my faith in the redemption of Christ in my relationship with God is not the glue that puts me together when i crumble, it is the bonds that holds all the molecules of my life together on a daily basis. ok-thats a horrible analogy...but whatever happened to keep me from seeking God as the most important in my life, my sustinence?
Life happened. Satan's attacks happened. Life's not bad...it's really miraculous. I just lost focus listening to Satans "musts."
and so it is 1 am. 6 hours till presentation. i'm still stressed. scrambling even. but not scrambling in hopelessness. i know that when this speech is over and my annotated bibliography is graded to a particularly high standard placed upon me today... i will be ok. because in the long run, i'll look back and think of how i grew academically and spiritually through this and be glad for it. the percent will fade away and God's faithfullness will increase.
one other thought i had today. it seems a lot of people are going through stuff of many varieties lately. i was struck by a song that came on this evening...
It's been a bad day, you've been looking back
And all you can see is everything you wish you could take back
All your mistakes, a world of regrets
All of those moments you would rather forget
I know it's hard to believe
Let me refresh your memory
Chorus:
Yesterday is history
And history is miles away
So leave it all behind you
Let it always remind you of the day
The day that love made history
You know you can't stay right where you fell
The hardest part is forgiving yourself
But let's take a walk into today
And don't let your past get in the way
Repeat chorus
Would you believe that you are history
In the making, in the making
Every choice that you are making
Every step that you are taking
Every chain that you are breaking
History is in the making
Every word that you are saying
Every prayer that you are praying
Every chain that you are breaking
History is in the making
History is in the making
History is in the making"
~Matthew West, History
despite the hopelessness we may feel after a bad day...there is indeed hope. It is not so much our mistakes or things that are left uncompleted that matter, but how we handle our lives in midst of them. History is in the making--and what God cares most about is that we look to him and obey. to keep hope and joy. to rejoice. to praise him. to love others. to persevere. to the end.
one last thing...
WOW is going to be A M A Z I N G!
pray for God to rock your world next week! He certainly wants to. Seek his call.
oh it's good to get that out. | 
